Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
