But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
