Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
