I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
