Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
