Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
