he referred to my room as the tit cave...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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