I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Damn victory sex feels great
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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