awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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