She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Please don't give away my fajitas
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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