just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
