the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
