kristin has been a bad kristin
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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