guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
