If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
