Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
