I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
