Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
