Welp...herpes.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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