Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
my liver is dry heaving
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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