I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
