Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm experimenting with sincerity
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
