I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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