: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
