I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
