Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
This gyro tastes like lonliness
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
