I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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