Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
