I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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