I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
