In the future we'll all be gay
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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