so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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