new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
