I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
