I think i peed on brittanys purse
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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