took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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