my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
