I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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