I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
