it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Randomize
