I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
