actually, I'm a sock model
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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