And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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