you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
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