Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Say something about gay babies.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
That accounts for only three of the penises
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
