I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
