isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
