This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
