I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
