She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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